So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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