he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
