I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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