what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
