Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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