i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize