you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
The struggles of a small town man whore
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
