Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Farmville is her only friend.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Randomize
