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• (770): View more from Georgia

  If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism

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  25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (406): View more from Montana

  I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.

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• (281): View more from Texas

  Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.

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