some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
