If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all