he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
