dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
