oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
