we're blogging at a bar
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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