Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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