try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
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so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
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Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize