the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I cockslap morals
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
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