tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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