She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
