she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
