just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize