went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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