I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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