I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
