Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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