i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
