Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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