maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
