fuck your aforementioned shoe
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
