well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
