He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
