If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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