I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
