I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
