He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
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He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
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We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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