"it" just moved
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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