we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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