hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
