NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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