I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize