how can u be prego again
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Randomize
