last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
