Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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