I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
