Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
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well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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