she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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