Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
