small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
