During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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