Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
