Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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