Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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