I am full of burrito and curiosity
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
