my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
