in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
