There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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