I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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