whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
In other news, I just burned my penis
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
