Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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