I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
