Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
My ass is underappreciated
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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