My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
